I tried to shame him for eating all my shoes. I’m not sure what I expected
if a song was in shrek theres no way to un-associate it with shrek its forever going to be a shrek song
look @ this cute lil lady
i live for small lady
love u small lady
I don’t care if it’s already on my blog, stuff like this is always relevant
little bee tongue and antennae and fuzzy legs and cutie eyes!
sometimes my emotion is just the word “fuckign”
That face you make when you find weird shit at stores, and then offer it to your friend.
this cat looks stoked as hell
thats just butter in a hotdog bun
what the fuck do you mean “just” butter in a hot dog bun
absolutely destroy the idea that you have to be loved romantically and love romantically
destroy the idea that the end goal of life is to get into a romantic relationship/marriage
romantic love isn’t a requirement to live life and it never will be
why are ppl circulating a list of ~problematic~ shit jlaw has said….ppl are literal fucking garbage, i don’t care how much u hate a celebrity if they have their privacy violated like this u don’t start out saying “oh she’s sooo problematic but….” like no this doesn’t have anything 2 do w/ the shit she’s said and u don’t need to even bring it up as if some women are more deserving of a horrible privacy breech than others
this guy was watching Shrek (the movie series) with me and now he’s educating himself how precious is that.
he keeps asking me all these questions about aspects of Shrek and he’s like “so basically it’s about letting Ogre’s do what they want without being put down” and I was like yea and he was like “oh okay that’s so simple why isn’t everyone Shrek” it’s precious.
update: I banged him
"I think I’m surprisingly different in real life than what people expect or what people project on to me. I’m not actually that awkward, I don’t think. I think people see me as this sarcastic person that doesn’t care about anything. But, on the contrary, I’m pretty emotional and sensitive and I care a lot about things and people. I think in moments where the spotlight is on me — like if I’m doing a talk show — my defenses come into play and maybe that’s why people see me that way. But, I think my sarcasm is often a way for me to get through those moments. I mean, if you came over to my house, I’d make you a cup of tea and be probably really interested in you."- Aubrey Plaza for Refinery29 [x]
My cat matches my bed
basically my life can be summed up in alternating periods of Linda Belcher’s “Alriiiiight!” and Bob Belcher’s “Oh my god”